English anyone????

From the New Boxford Dictionary

Divorce : Future tense of marriage.

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in
paper with fire at one end & a fool on
the other.

Lecture : An art of transferring
information from the notes of the
Lecturer to the notes of the students
without passing through the minds of
either

Conference : The confusion of one man
multiplied by the number present.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake
in such a way that everybody believes
he got the biggest piece.

Tears : The hydraulic force by which
masculine will-power is defeated by
feminine water power

Dictionary : A place where success
comes before work.

Conference Room : A place where
everybody talks, nobody listens and
everybody disagrees later on.

Classic : A book which people praise,
but do not read.

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of
things straight.

Office : A place where you can relax
after your strenuous home life.

Yawn : The only time some married men
ever get to open their mouth.

Etc. : A sign to make others believe
that you know more than you actually
do.

Committee : Individuals who can do
nothing individually and sit to decide
that nothing can be done together.

Experience : The name men give to their
mistakes.

Atom Bomb : An invention to end all
inventions.

Philosopher : A fool who torments
himself during life, to be spoken of
when dead.

Diplomat : A person who tells you to go
to hell in such a way that you actually
look forward to the trip.

Opportunist : A person who starts
taking
bath if he accidentally falls into a
river.

Optimist : A person who while falling
from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I
am not injured yet."

Miser : A person who lives poor so that
he can die rich.

Father : A banker provided by nature.

Criminal : A guy no different from the
rest....except that he got caught.

Boss : Someone who is early when you
are late and late when you are early.

Politician : One who shakes your hand
before elections and your confidence
after.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills
by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Loser : Zakuan Azizi....hahahaha
-askar quraisy 6-